


Half of a Heart

by KalicoFox



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Don't mind me just hopping on the SI/OC bandwagon, Gen, No Beta we die like an old white guy writing a 'great american classic', Talking about mental issues with no real idea of how those mental issues work, agender/genderfluid characters, literally this is stress relief, probably crack at some point? Ish???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalicoFox/pseuds/KalicoFox
Summary: It's easy enough to daydream about what would happen if you ended up in a different world. Putting that into practice? Not so much...





	1. In Which There Are Pokemon

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm hopping on the SI/OC bandwagon. No, I'm not sure if this'll be continued.

_Please, I can’t… It hurts too much._

_I need something more._

_Anything but **this**! _

_ **P** **lease…!** _

_**Ȁ̸̮̫͍̼͕̹̟̇͌̒͛͂ͅn̷̨̧̘̼̝͎̥̟̉̍͛͑͆͡y̡͕̞̭͆̑͐̾̑̈̾͢ṭ̵͖̯̳̲͓̲̣͆̔̿̄̀̀͐̌̕͜h̷̨̭̹̦̤̻͎͕͉̔̄̄̈́͊́͐͋̽̚i̶͇̺͔̪͈̣̿̽̚̚͠n̺̲̖̳̲̟̆̃̍̇͐͛̆̽̕g̢̨̨͉̝̙̦͚̗̥͛͆̒̃̓̿͘?̶͚̼̠̱̈͆̎̎̓̉̄̚͢͞** _

_**V̨͕̻̲̲͙̬́̃̋́͟͞ę̛̤͕̺̘̖̭̎̀̈́̂̑̌̏̓͠ŗ̹̜̯͓͎̾̒͗̔̎̚͜͠y̨̛̭̤̣͎̐̎́͋̆̃̓ Ẅ̴͙̹̗͓̯̣̖̖͕̺̓̋ȇ̛̙̞̘̩͙̼̞̈̔͒̾ḷ̶̢͔̙͖̟̣̞̱̏͊̏̅̽͢͡l̷̛̝̩̬͈̗͇̍͌̿̓̓̎̿̍͞.̪̰̱̙͉͔̱͑͛͛͆͡ͅ** _

Cold air brushed over me, and I grumbled, flopping one hand around to find the blanket that I’d kicked off. I didn’t even have to open my eyes to find it, tucking it back around the top of my head and under my chin as I curled up into a ball and fell back to sleep.

_“Is that…”_

_“Oh my god… -ino…-ou help?”_

_“-et that… -ay from her!”_

Something tugged the blanket away from me, and I whined, cracking my eyes open enough to glare at whoever’d stolen it.

“Tryna _sleep_!” My fist may or may not have lashed out. All I knew was that the blanket was released, and I could wrap it back around myself, sighing happily.

Sleepy me is a bitch. Just ask my husband.

It got brighter. The blanket covered my face.

Fuck waking up.

I’m so _t i r e d._

Waking up was nice. Nice soft bed, nice soft blankets, nice dark room, with enough light peeking in around the edges of the curtains that I knew the sun was well up. It was nice, and I stretched, luxuriating in the feeling of the sh…eets.

Wait.

We don’t sleep with a top sheet. Demi hates it. He says it just gets in the way; makes him feel like it’s strangling him.

“… the fuck?” I muttered, and sat up, looking around the room curiously.

It wasn’t much. A bed, a couple of chairs (one with a blanket on it, had Demi gone somewhere?) , a tv mounted near the top corner of one wall. All in all, a stereotypical hospital room. But…

It was a room. Not just a bed in the emergency room, or even a shared room like I’d expect in a short-term ward. This looked like legit, long-term care. Granted, I’d only really been in hospitals when I was visiting my sister, but still… this was way too much.

We can’t afford this. Where was Demi? How long had I even been out for, if they’d decided that I needed the hospital this time?

What…?

“Pet?” Big blue-and-yellow eyes blinked open on the chair and the blanket lifted into the air, flowing down into a shape that I knew _far_ too well.

“Oh _shit_.”

“Shuppet?”

“Oh my god. You’re a shuppet. You’re an _actual_ shuppet!” I couldn’t help it. My voice scaled up, cracking on the last word, and the Shuppet danced nervously in the air around my head as I covered my eyes.

There’s no way. No _real_ way, at least. I’d finally done it. Finally cracked under the strain of trying too hard to live in fantasies.

No wonder I was in the hospital.

No wonder Demi wasn’t here.

I’d finally gone and lost my goddamn mind.

I only hoped I hadn’t hurt him when I’d finally lost it.

I barely noticed the IV tugging at my arm when I rolled over to bury my head in the pillows. I was too busy trying to muffle the sound of my tears.

No sense in being more of burden on whoever was trying to take care of my stupid delusional ass.

Here’s one of the shitty things about my weird sleep disorder-thing: if I can sleep, I will _sleep_. If I can’t? There isn’t a force on this green earth that can make me, short of medicating myself into unconsciousness. And that leads to migraines, without fail.

So.

Sobbing myself to sleep after having slept who-knew how long? Not an option.

Staying in bed once my bladder finally made itself and its needs known? Also not an option.

Which led to me throwing off the covers, grabbing the IV stand, and sliding off the bed.

And nearly falling on my ass when my hand ended up _above my freaking head._

Which barely went above the bed. Which.

_What?!_

(I was ignoring the Shuppet going through the door. We weren’t going to pay attention to that. We _weren’t._ It wasn’t real.)

We’re gonna ignore the whole height thing, too, I decided. It’s probably a really detailed delusion. It’s fine. I’ve never had delusions before, or hallucinations. What do I know. They could come with altered perceptions of height. Who knows?

That door has a window in it that shows a hallway. The other door… revealed a bathroom, when opened. Complete with small, Turtwig shaped stool underneath the sink.

On the one hand, that’s freaking adorable. On the other… considering the hallucinations… maybe it’s just shaped like a normal turtle?

I don’t turn on the lights. It’ll kill my eyes and if I leave the door open, then the ambient light’ll work well enough.

(Ignore the fact that I’m not sure I can even _reach_ the light switch, as I dutifully use the stool so I can wash my hands. What does that look like? A grown woman using a stool like a child?)

Someone knocks on the door, and I step back out into the room as the door opens and someone comes in.

(The Shuppet _doesn’t follow. It’s not real._ )

“Hey there, sleepy head!”

The too cheerful voice is accompanied by the lights flipping on, and I can’t help it; I shriek, arms flying up to protect my eyes.

“Oh come _on!”_ it’s only a little played up. “Why would you even _do_ that?! Literally what have I _ever_ done to deserve this? Lights! In my _eyes,_ man! Augh!!!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

A click.

Cautiously, I lowered my arms, sighing in relief. Back to the nice, blue-dusk of a curtained room with daylight outside.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Will you be okay if I turn on the smaller lights along the wall?”

I glance over at where the… man? Woman? Person is pointing, gauging the lights and how they’d reflect off the white walls.

“Probably? It was only really a problem ‘cause I wasn’t expecting it…”

“Got it.”

I looked away as a hand reached back toward the light switches, shading my eyes with one hand as I waited.

The lights that clicked on this time were warm, spreading a homey golden glow along the wall to reflect into the room.

Behind my hand I blinked once, twice, then carefully lowered my hand, glancing around to take in all the details I’d missed in the twilit gloom.

(Ignore everything Pokemon themed. You can’t tell if it’s real or not. Not with that Shuppet still floating around. You can’t trust yourself, Riska, don’t be stupid. Don’t let on that you’re seeing things that aren’t there. Act like everything’s normal. _You don’t see anything.)_

“There! Now let’s get you back in bed, okay kiddo? I gotta make sure we get your blood pressure marked down real quick.”

Kiddo?

Oh god, how long had I been here? How delusional had I been? _What was going on???_

There was another stool next to the bed.

It was shaped like a pokeball.

This is fine…

“So, sleeping beauty, can you tell me your name?”

Velcro tore as they unwrapped a blood pressure cuff, and I held out my arm on automatic.

“Riska Valle.” I told them, and they glanced up at me, smiling briefly before jotting something down on the chart they’d grabbed from the foot of the bed.

The cuff pinched a bit, and I waited until they’d finished deflating it before asking.

“How long have I been here?”

“Just a couple of days, but don’t worry, now that you’re awake you can let us know how to get ahold of your parents and they can come pick you up lickety split!”

I blinked.

“My… parents?”

They nodded absentmindedly, flipping through my chart. “Do you think you can get out of bed again, sweetheart? Now that you’re up we can get a height and weight measurement real quick.”

“…okay…”

This is too much.

My parents? Am I hearing things they aren’t saying?

Their lips match up with what they’re saying, but I’m not the best lip reader, so…

They have me step on a scale. One of the old fashioned slide-the-weights-around-the-metal-bars-until-it-balances kind, and I _blanch_.

Forty five pounds.

They measure my height, and I try to keep my voice from shaking as I ask how tall I am.

“116.3 centimeters!” They tell me, their voice cheerful, “You’re tall for your age!”

No. No I’m not.

I know how old I’m _supposed to be._

And I know how old I _was,_ when I first weighed that little.

“I’m eleven.” My voice is flat. Emotionless.

I can’t freak out. I can’t. Don’t scream. _Do not scream_.

Their eyes widen in horror, taking in my rail-thin frame and making the same assumption that _every_ doctor did at that time.

“Yes, mama feeds me. No, I’m not starved. I eat when I’m hungry. I get snacks if I want them. I just have a _really high_ metabolism, I _promise.”_

“Are… you hungry now?” Their voice is almost hopeful, and I sigh, resigning myself to having yet another person try to stuff me with food.

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Well let’s get you back in bed and I’ll see if I can find you anything!”

“‘kay.”

To my credit, I manage to wait until their footsteps have faded out of my hearing before I start screaming into my pillows.

“Shup? Shuppet! Shuuuuu????”

It’s not real.

Ignore the hallucination that is _wrapping itself around my shoulders what the fu-!?_

The door opens again, and holy crap they moved fast. I’m really not sure, but judging from the flush on their face they had to have started running once they were out of earshot…

But they brought _pudding_ , and they’re smiling at me, and I’m making grabby hands at it before I even realize that I’m moving.

They laugh, but hand it over, settling in one of the chairs with a sigh of relief.

“You’re really lucky,” they comment, ignoring me vaccuming up the pudding with single-minded intensity.

“Hmm?” there are no chipmunk cheeks here, no sir.

“Your Shuppet.” They nod toward me. “It hasn’t left this room since you were brought in, even though we haven’t been able to find its pokeball.”

I freeze.

“My…”

A single horned head leans down next to my face, and a wide mouth gleefully takes the spoonful of pudding I’d left hanging there.

“Pet~!” It chirps happily, and the ‘cloth’ around my shoulders squeezes gently.

“Oh.”

_Oh my god._


	2. In Which Nothing is Decided

Everything after that was in a haze. I think I answered a bunch more questions. I think the nurse brought me more to eat, and I probably picked at it for a while.

I think I finally managed to convince them that I was tired and wanted to sleep again.

All I knew was that eventually, I was left alone again, with the promise that they’d be right back if I pushed the button they’d shown me on a little remote.

Everything faded into a weird, staticky buzz.

“Shuppet.” A pair of big eyes were staring at me, inches away from my face.

I blinked.

The Shuppet was bigger than I thought it’d be.

Its head was almost as big as mine, and the blanket-like, flowing body was big enough that I was pretty sure it could wrap around me like a cloak, if it wanted to.

“Hi.”

“Shuuuuu~!”

It spun in place, smiling happily, and I echoed the smile.

It was nice to see something happy.

I wanted…

I…

The Shuppet drifted over to the remote control, peering down at it curiously before lifting it carefully in a fold of its… body? and bringing it over to me, dropping it in my lap with a pleased chirrup.

“You… want the nurse back?”

It blew a raspberry, sharp and sudden enough to make me jump, then giggle like an idiot; too surprised to second guess myself.

The Shuppet looked delighted with itself.

“Okay, not that. You wanna watch tv?”

“Pet!” a happy twirl.

“Mmkay.”

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to figure out the remote, but eventually I managed to get the television on and started flipping channels. Normally I’m all about the cartoons, but a split second glimpse of something that I _hoped_ wasn’t what I thought it was had me backing up to a news channel and paying close attention to the red-headed woman behind the news desk.

“-eam Plasma members have been arrested today, following Saturday’s attack on Opelucid City. There has been no statement yet from Unova League Champion Alder, but Elite Four Member Grimsley had this to say.”

The scene cut to a tall man in a neat, black suit standing in front of a pokemon center. Behind him, _dozens_ of pokemon were working on getting rid of massive spikes of ice.

“This attack is nothing more than what we have come to expect from the so-called ‘Team Plasma’. We, the Elite Four of Unova, have dedicated ourselves to helping Opelucid City recover from this devastating attack, as well as hunting down Team Plasma and ensuring that they face justice for their myriad crimes.”

The camera cut back to the same woman, who shuffled the paper on the desk. “We will have more on this story, as it develops.”

A pause, and, in one corner of the screen, a picture of a blonde woman appeared.

I flipped the channel.

I don’t really care about news. Not really. It’s so sad, almost all the time, and I can’t really afford to let myself linger on sad things that I can’t do anything about. All that ends up doing is making me sad, and then I can’t function. And right now, I get the feeling I kind of need to be able to function.

None of the shows I was flipping past looked even remotely familiar, and honestly? I was almost grateful when someone tapped on the door and came in.

“Miss Valle? I’m Doctor Parks. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

I hit the power button on the remote, ignoring the pouting from the Shuppet as I turned to look at the doctor.

She was tall, curly brown hair pulled half-back. “Do you mind if I turn on the lights? Nurse Reynard mentioned you were having a little bit of light sensitivity.”

“It’s fine. I just woke up, so it was bright.”

Doctor Parks nodded, and clicked the lights on, crossing the room to sit on the stool next to the bed.

“So…” I hesitated, then took a deep breath and tried anyway. “How did I get here?”

“That’s actually what I wanted too talk to you about,” She said, her brown eyes serious, “Do you remember where you were before you woke up here?”

I shrugged, toying with the blanket on my lap. “I was at home. I went to bed, and there was a bit where I got cold. I woke up here.”

“That sounds kind of scary. Are you doing okay?”

I blinked, surprised, then jumped as the Shuppet nudged its way onto my lap, spreading out like a dusky black blanket.

“I’m okay.”

“The reason I’m asking,” Doctor Parks continued, “is because we have a police officer who’d like to talk to you about how you were found. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we think we can help you get back to your parents faster if you do. I can be here with you, if you like.”

I blinked again, absently petting the Shuppet as I thought about it.

“Sure.”

There was a little crease in between her eyebrows. Had that always been there? Or was that new? “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. You can stay too, if you want.”

Which led to me, staring over at one of the stereotypically ‘faceless’ members of the police force as she flipped open a small notebook and smiled at me.

“Hi there! My name is Officer Mary! Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me! I just had a couple of quick questions, and then I’ll go see about getting a hold of your parents so we can get you home safe and sound!”

Something about that sounded familiar.

“Didn’t Nurse…” I trailed off, wracking my brain to try to remember the name and scowling when nothing sounded right.

“Reynard,” Doctor Parks suggested, and I glanced over at her, then nodded.

“Right. Didn’t Nurse Reynard get the phone number earlier? And my address?”

I could have sworn those were some of the questions I’d answered while trying not to visibly freak the hell out, but, well… Mind numbing terror is a little hard on the memory.

“They did,” the officer nodded regretfully, “but we’re having a little bit of trouble getting through, so I thought I’d get the info straight from the Ponyta’s mouth and see if I’ll have any better luck back at the station.”

Not likely. Still, I dutifully recited the address of the apartment I’d fallen asleep in, and, since I was pretty sure about which phone number I’d given, recited my childhood phone number as well.

The questions after that were… odd.

Did I know where I was (Unova?), did I know how I’d gotten here (no), what was the last thing I remembered (going to bed), and, finally, the kicker.

“Do you know where your Shuppet’s pokeball might be? We searched the area where you were found, but nobody found anything.”

I paused, glancing down at the Shuppet still happily in my lap.

Ah. A conundrum. Do I tell them it’s not my Shuppet? Do I tell them I don’t have _any_ pokemon? That I just woke up here and have no idea what’s going on?

“Dunno… sorry.”

Mary wilted a little, “That’s okay! I was hoping you might have an idea, but it’s okay! We’ll figure something else out!”

Hrm. My mouth is doing that thing where it says stuff without talking to me about it first. How annoying.

Still, with the way the Shuppet snuggled into my lap, it must’ve liked that response.

Mary flipped her little notebook shut, and smiled brightly at me again. “I have to get going now, but I’ll call your parents as soon as I get back to the station, okay? And if you need anything else, then just let someone here know, and I’ll come right back over!”

How is she so cheerful? How is _anyone_ that cheerful, ever?

Ugh. I need caffeine to deal with this.

“Okay, I will.”

Doctor Parks followed her out, closing the door gently behind herself as she went, and, as carefully as I could, I slipped out of the bed.

I had to remember to take the IV pole with me, and the Shuppet floated curiously along side me as I carefully pulled the door open just enough so I could try to hear anyone talking in the hallway. Sure enough;

“-und her in just her underwear, at the top of the Celestial Tower. There is no possible way that she got there, like _that_ on _accident._ She was almost hypothermic, for Cresselia’s sake!” Doctor Parks’ voice was low and angry, and Mary cut her off with a frustrated sigh.

“I know, and I agree, it’s suspicious, but that address she gave her nurse? It _doesn’t exist._ Neither does the phone number. It’s not even the right format, and from what we can tell it’s not the right format for any other region, either.”

“Do you think she’s lying?” Parks sounded skeptical, and I leaned a little closer.

“I don’t know. She rattled off the information so easily… You say she’s eleven?”

“That’s what Momo said she said,”

For a long moment there was silence.

“She doesn’t look it.”

“No.” Grim agreement.

Mary sighed again, and the sound of footsteps heading away had me pulling away from the door and, carefully, closing it.

“Huh.”

Looks like my looks are working for me, for once.

“Shu?”

I blinked, looking over at where Shuppet was peering at me curiously.

“It’s nothing.” I pulled the IV back over to the bed and climbed back in, sitting crosslegged and dragging one of the blankets out of place so I could wrap it around my back. Why did they even have me in a gown if there was nothing actually wrong with me?

“So.” I paused, then held out my hands. “You wanna come here and help me figure stuff out?”

A short bob in the air, almost like it was thinking, then it swooped over to float on the bed right in front of my crossed legs.

“You really don’t have a problem with people thinking you’re mine?”

“Pet!” A flounce, almost like an exaggerated huff, and my lips twitched into a crooked smile.

“Had to check. D’you want a name? It always rubbed me the wrong way, the idea that people don’t give pokemon names. Like, I get some people call their cats ‘cat’, or whatever, but you guys are so intelligent. Except then I’d always wonder that maybe you were smart enough to have names of your own in your own language, and that maybe giving a human name was like, bad or something, and I’d start overthinking it, and I’d feel really bad even though it was just a ga-”

Cool, misty feeling fabric shoved itself into my mouth, and I stopped talking, staring at the Shuppet who’d drifted closer just to shut me up.

I never knew that something with a face that was eighty percent eyes could look exasperated.

It waited a beat, like it was checking to see if I was actually done, then removed the fold of itself from my mouth and, deliberately, nodded at me.

“So… name?”

“Shuppet!” Another nod.

“Cool.” I paused for a second, then groaned and flopped backwards onto the pillows. “Heck now I can’t think of anything.”

“Shuu.”

There was a barely there weight in my lap, then on my stomach, then on my chest, and then Shuppet was looking down into my face.

It was weird. My dog would do that; just walk all over me when I was laying down. It got to the point where having him laying on me was a comfortable weight that would help me fall asleep sometimes. This though, was more like a phantom feeling. A ghost of a sensation.

I snickered.

“How about Simon?”

That got me a raspberry directly in the face, and I yelped, scrambling to cover my face with my arms as Shuppet laughed itself not only off of my chest, but straight off the bed.

“Rude!” the exclamation just made it laugh harder, and I scooched over so I could glare over the edge of the bed.

“Rude.” I repeated, squinting dramatically. “ _So_ rude. Maybe that should be your name. Rudy. How about _that_ , huh?”

Shuppet froze, then whipped around and shot into the air to float just in front of my face.

“Shup pet pet shu…”

I sat up, folded my arms, and stuck my nose in the air; the picture of a petulant kid. “Maybe I would, huh? _Rudy?_ ”

“Shuuuuuuu…” It floated around to be in front of me again, drifting low so that it just barely brushed the blankets and lowering its head so that it could peek up at me.

Oh my god.

The cute face. The freakin’ ‘please don’t be mad’ _cute face_. It took my dog a year and a freaking _half_ to figure it out, and This Asshole got it down in _ten goddamn seconds!_

I hesitated.

Wavered.

And crumbled like a nilla wafer in milk.

“Oh my god fine I won’t call you Rudy now _please stop looking at me like that holy crap.”_

“Shuppet!” And of course back into the air it went, twirling happily as it celebrated its complete and total victory.


End file.
